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Something About Me and My Book:: Stuart Reid is 44 years old, going on 10. Throughout his early life he was dedicated to being immature, having fun and getting into trouble. Occasionally, after scoring a goal in the playground Stuart was known to celebrate by kissing lollypop ladies, and he once broke his nose by running into a lamp-post with his jumper pulled up over his head. Although not musically gifted, Stuart has the ability to play music using only the pumping noises from his armpits.

Stuart once lobbied the British Olympic Committee to have ‘The Wedgie’ recognised as a national sport, creating both the ‘Giving’ and ‘Receiving’ categories and the scoring system with (skid) marks for technical merit, artistic impression and the durability/rippability of the underwear.

He is allergic to ties; blaming them for stifling the blood flow to his imagination throughout his twenties and thirties. After turning up at the wrong college, Stuart was forced to spend the next 25 years being boring, professional and corporate. His fun-loving attitude was further suppressed by the weight of career responsibility, as a business manager in the retail and hospitality industries in the UK and Dubai.

Stuart’s legs suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which means he has to wear shorts at all times. His mid-life crisis offered a return to immature madness involving bogies, bums, burps, songs about poo and running about his snow covered garden in only his pyjamas.

Stuart has been married for nearly twenty years. He has two children, a superman outfit and a spiky haircut.

His first book is called Gorgeous George and the Giant Geriatric Generator. It features bogies, baddies, bagpipes and bums! Farting, false teeth and fun!

Gorgeous George and the Giant Geriatric Generator begins when George witnesses something rather disturbing from his bedroom window late one night. Maybe it was a UFO or a ghostly apparition, or maybe it’s even more sinister. Whatever it was, nobody believes him. People are disappearing fast and no one seems to care.

Why are the people of Little Pumpington so miserable? Why has his evil teacher started smelling of wee? Why is Mr Watt so fat? Why does Mr Jolly the Janitor collect hundreds of pairs of false teeth in a cupboard in his workshop? And what will happen when mad Kenny sticks two crayons up his nose?

During detention George discovers a secret stash of soggy tea-bags and a hundred boxes of broken biscuits hidden in a mysterious tunnel beneath the school. Can his new friend Alison help, even though she’s just ‘a boring girl’? Will Alison’s mum give them money for sweets?

Can Gorgeous George (who’s not really gorgeous at all) solve these mysteries with the help of his Grandpa Jock, the wild-haired ginger Scotsman before Grandpa Jock deafens the whole town with his bagpipes?

Oh, and do not try the ‘burning brown bag of poo prank’ at home! You have been warned!