Simone Clare Bailey's Blog – January 2011 Archive (5)

My kids have both returned to school, now that the summer school holidays are over (I'm in Australia) , so I must tackle my third novel again.  I'll have to do some today because I won't have a chance tomorrow because I'm working -paid work, not writing! 

One of my FB friends has added me to a group that is dedicated to The Rockin' 80s.  I said he could add me because I thought it might be fun, but here's the rub: I SO HATED THE EIGHTIES!  The best moment for me was 11.59pm…

Is it just me, or is the sight of a five-year-old crying in distress as her eyebrows are being waxed for a junior beauty pageant downright offensive?  Does a five-year-old even have her allotted quota of eyebrow hair?  And the woman who birthed her (I'm loathe to use the word 'mother') defends this hideous action by saying, 'They called BEAUTY pagents'.  For God's sake, woman, if you must have an accessory with frosted highlights, false eyelashes, and a spray tan; buy a freaking Barbie…

I just tried to send the piece I did about bad dinner party guests to my Facebook page, and nothing happened.  It might have been the script it's in (it's copied from a Word document).  I got it onto Twitter okay.  I'm not going to re-type the whole article, I'm just going to suggest below a couple of crap dinner party guests, and sent it to FB.  If you've read my last article about bad dinner party guests, no need to read this one, unless you want to.  And I'd be most flattered if you…

You’re finally doing it; you’re having a formal dinner party.  The scene is set.  The table is set.  The antique silverware you inherited from your grandmother is gleaming.  The bread rolls are in their wicker basket that has been…

For reasons upon which I decline to elaborate, one of my FB friends has posted the song 'Purple People Eater'.  I didn't listen to all of it.  I do recall the lyrics that he came to to Earth and 'he lit in a tree'.  My older brother used to sing, 'he shit in a tree'.  Me, being an impressionable little cherub at the times (as opposed to the cynical old shit I have become) thought those were the actual lyrics.  Oh blimey, now I'm feeling five years old again, all long braids.  Enough of the…