An annoying protagonist

When I was about sixteen, there was a song out that was very popular: 'Centrefold' by the J Geils Band. I'd hear it on the radio, and my shoulders would twitch in time with the upbeat melody and oh-so-catchy hook. However, the narrator of that song really is a hypocritical, self-delusional, passive/aggressive turd with a galloping Madonna/Whore complex, don't you reckon? No? Well, I'll explain the reasons for my admittedly unqualified diagnosis.

He's in the newsagents and flicking through a girlie magazine, when all of a sudden he sees his high-school crushie is Miss October, or whatever month it is. His very world apparently implodes. He's physically sickened. Seeing the girl he remembers who wore pretty sweaters in lingerie practically sends him apoplectic. Hey, douche-bag! You're pervy little turd looking in the magazine in the first place!

And then he starts fantasising that she'll go to a motel with him and perform a private strip tease! Seriously, how big a f**k-up is this bloke? The only way she'd end up there with him was if he sneaked up behind her and hit her in the mush with a chloroform-soaked rag. She'd wake up and find herself dressed in a cheerleader's outfit and chained to a school desk, in the very sort of motel Norman Bates would jizz in his undergrunts over.

And it gets even more aggravating. After all his sermonising and pontificating, this twit says he's going to buy the magazine. How's he going to spend the rest of his day? I'm guessing there will be a box of tissues and a tube of hand lotion involved.

Just thought I'd blog about an annoying song protagonist, that's all.

Cheers.