Article #1 Give Yourself You!

It was a Monday and all the girls at the office were lunching together. Their conversations usually consist of the latest fashion and makeup trends, what they get up to over the weekend and most famously sex and relationships!!

I couldn’t help but over hear and notice that over the past few weeks  the same topic cropping up in their conversations…. ‘Why is it so hard to find a good man these days’, ‘Good old love and romance doesn’t exist anymore’, ‘They’re all players, cant stick to one girl and are only after one thing’… oh and not to forget… ‘He never seems to get me and I’m the one always giving’.

Having heard some of their painful stories and epic fails it was clear that they all seemed to have one thing in common – It appeared they had traded themselves down for the sake of fitting in and making the relationship work (or trying to make it work). These girls were bending over backwards and putting themselves all out. Basically being anything but themselves! Did they really expect the relationship to work and even better, to last!!??

A good relationship should add to the person you already are. Surely it should make you and him happy on the inside and out without having to change yourself as a person from the get go. Unlike an unhealthy relationship which would look great and glittery on the outside but empty and dull on the inside.

It was clear that some of these girls were in an uncomfortable comfort zone when it came to men, relationships and most importantly themselves. They were far too busy focusing on being someone else, trying to change and please others but themselves. These girls felt they were not good enough and instead of concentrating on loving themselves they were expecting others to love the person they weren’t… how does this make any sense? It doesn’t and maybe this is where they were going wrong.

A good healthy relationship will allow all your true characteristics and qualities to flourish and grow but in an unhealthy relationship the more unattractive characteristics and qualities are likely to be highlighted.

If anything, I’ve learnt that relationships can teach us many lessons about ourselves and if we don’t learn from our mistakes, the lessons will keep coming back like a bad habit or you’ll remain in that relationship like a vicious circle.

A relationship can act like a mirror, if you are being treated badly, given no love or attention, no care or trust then step up and begin giving yourself the love, attention, trust and care you need. You are allowing yourself to remain in that relationship because you love them more than you love yourself.

A healthy relationship should help you to grow and enhance as the person you already are. It should make you want to be a better person, be happier in life and do things, which move you forward in a positive like. It should NOT stunt you in life or as a person, make you unhappy or change for your partner (not in a major way).

You don’t need someone who will make you question yourself, your integrity, beauty, emotions… disconnect from your friends and family, effect your job, finances, goals, dreams, desires or more.

Any relationship which makes you feel you need to engage in behavior or thinking that may detract from your true self IS NOT LOVE.

So is it really worth trying so hard and putting yourself through such painful experiences and turmoil, to please someone who will not stick around for more than a moment in a so called ‘relationship’?

Love and relationships are not about trying to change someone or becoming an entirely new person to accommodate the person you feel the need to be with.

You may not meet Mr Perfect or the Love of Your Life tomorrow or in fact in the next few months, but instead take out the time to concentrate on yourself. Give yourself the time to be 110% happy and confident with who you are, what you have to offer and what you want.

Break old habits and you may just surprise yourself….

Give yourself the love, faith and belief you deserve and most of all Give Yourself YOU.

I am a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Author of  ‘Woman Vs. Womaniser’. Woman Vs Womaniser is a true story, where I used myself to expose certain negative/positive behaviours and dynamics in relationships.

http://www.womanvswomaniser.com/interactive.php

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