Dad's hindering the royalty!

If it wasn't for my dad, I wouldn't be here.  Think about it.  Some forty-six years ago I lept from one of his testicles and swam like crazy to fertilise my mother's egg, and from simple biology classes you know the rest.  He worked hard to see that myself, along with my three siblings and mother were clothed, sheltered, and fed.  He's a quiet, taciturn type from whom I've inherited my relatively tall stature, and love of reading and cryptic crosswords.  But I do wish to the universal powers that he would STOP lending my latest novel to people and tell them to buy the bloody thing!  I saw someone today who told me she is reading it.  My mental calculator clocked up another royalty, and then she said, 'Your father lent me his copy.'  He has lent it out before, and I have to speak to him.  The woman went on to say, 'He's so proud of you.'  Aaaawww, that's worth at least one royalty!

'Abernethy' by Simone Bailey, Zeus Publications, http://www.zeus-publications (young adult).

'Calumny while reading Irvine Welsh' by Simone Bailey, Zeus Publications (as above) (adult sature).

First chapters and blurbs can be read online. 

Dad, I love ya, but stop what you're doing and get people to buy the frickin' thing, okay?