First Loves

Hi, just like to give myself a quick introduction. My name is Maggie Berkley and I’m a wife, mother and writer. What I wanted to blog about today is first loves. I’ve been married so long now (20 years this year) and its hard to remember the feelings and what-dos that go on during first loves but I get the pleasure (and worry) of seeing it through my son.

My son is almost 17 and this summer he met his first girlfriend. She’s a few years younger and lives in another city, which, from a protective mother’s point of view, is a good thing. It’s hard to let go, to see my baby grow up and become a man. It was hard when he was 6 and went to his first sleep over, hard when he was 10 and went on his first camp out for Cub Scouts, hard when he came home after his first week of high school and told me he had his first fight (he won…one good thing). But now this? A girlfriend? How do I keep my baby boy safe from girls and heartbreak? Argh.

Now don’t get me wrong, I went through my share of crushes and broken hearts but well, that was me, I could deal with it. But my son? Poor defenseless teenage boy with no experience in the real world? (I can hear the sigh and eye rolls) I know, I know, I need to learn to let go and believe me, I’m trying, but its hard, hard to see him grow up, to see him so serious with a young lady who still doesn’t know what she, herself, wants in life. To hear his ideas and plans for his future with her, how he feels and how he hurts when her friends don’t like him (they say he’s too intense like Edward from Twilight). My son has his heart on his sleeve and I can’t keep it from the pain of heart break I know will happen one day. Does this worry ever go away?

Yes, I’m trying…hard (my fingernails show the proof), to loosen my hold for how can he become the man I see him becoming if I strangle him with my concern and protection? He at least has sense of humor about my situation, pats me on my head and gives me a hug while muttering, “Love you too, mom.” One thing for sure though, is he is a gentleman; treats her with respect, is offended by songs that put women down and are sexually demeaning, and is not thrilled with her wearing short skirts. I can look back and know he was raised well and know, in return, he will raise any children he has (whether with her, or another future love) with the same love and worry he had.