More about a dinner party from Hell.

I just tried to send the piece I did about bad dinner party guests to my Facebook page, and nothing happened.  It might have been the script it's in (it's copied from a Word document).  I got it onto Twitter okay.  I'm not going to re-type the whole article, I'm just going to suggest below a couple of crap dinner party guests, and sent it to FB.  If you've read my last article about bad dinner party guests, no need to read this one, unless you want to.  And I'd be most flattered if you did.

I would suggest you don't invite Gwynneth Paltrow to your next dinner party.  She's a lugubrious looking bag of bones who would put the guests off their mushroom risotto.  And it's a sure thing that whatever you're serving doesn't fall into the narrow parameter of whatever crackpot food fad she's following ('Aarrrggghhh!  The olive oil in the salad dressing wasn't made from olives grown in a grove in the remotest part of Spain where it would have been fertilised with the dung of a free range cow, and handpicked by virgins, and pressed between the hands of those virgins!  *Sob* Get me my agent!  Get me my therapist!').

I wouldn't recommend Heathcliff from 'Wuthering Heights', either (uh, yeah, I'm well aware he's fictional).  I love a bodice and bonnet drama.  I love a brooding anti-hero.  I just don't love an embittered, twisted man glowering at the guests, and frightening them away before they've tried my hand made cheesecake, that's all.

Bon appetit!