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Just thought I might write about some crap movie lines, or movie lines that have just made me want to throw my popcorn at the screen.  This is bizarre; I don't like popcorn, so won't buy it.  It's probably the popcorn of the poor spectator sitting next to me that I will seize and throw with force at the screen.


1.  'Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get' by the titular character of the nausea-inducing 'Forrest Gump'.  Every box of chocolates I have ever seen has a piece of paper inside the lid with a diagram of what each chocolate inside is, and how it is flavoured.


2.  'You treated me like a prostitute', spoken by Vivien in 'Pretty Woman'.  All I can say to this is, 'Gee, ya THINK?'  And since when does a prostitute that works the streets look like Julia Roberts?  They usually look as rough as a pig's breakfast; ink and needle marks, and a runny nose from being scantily clad in the wintry weather.


3.  'Nobody puts Baby in the corner', spoken by Johnny in 'Dirty Dancing'.  Uh, stewardess, can I have a barf bag, please?


Well, that's all for now.  I'm heading off to watch a DVD for a while.  My kids are going back to school tomorrow, so the days I'm not working, I will get back into my next novel.  Check out my other two at Zeus Publications,  They are 'Calumny while reading Irvine Welsh' (adult satire) and 'Abernethy' (young adult).  You can read the first chapters and blurb.  They are available as paperback, and as e-books.  My two sons never stop eating, so I'm hoping like crazy the books will sell!

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Comment by Matt Syverson on July 19, 2011 at 7:22pm

Funny, Simone - I happened to watch Pulp Fiction today. Great film, but I don't think Travolta's turn as Vincent is/was Oscar caliber. I will read the book, 'Forrest Gump', when I run across it. I think I'd call the movie more bittersweet/sentimental than 'twee'. I bet that's because I'm from the U.S.A. - the South, in fact. By the way, I like your personal blog. I added it to my "favorites". Talk to you later!


Comment by Simone Clare Bailey on July 18, 2011 at 11:02pm
Hi, Matt.  Thanks for leaving me a comment. I really enjoy receiving comments, even if the correspondent doesn't agree with me.  I guess one of the problems I have with Gump is the fact that Hanks won the Oscar over John Travolta in 'Pulp Fiction', and that 'Pulp Fiction' did not get the Best Picture, either.  (It may have lost to 'Forrest Gump', from memory).  But don't worry, even without the constraints of geography and the time/space continuum, I would never pull a Kanye West!  Have you ever read the book 'Forrest Gump' by Winston Groom?  Completely different attitude to the  movie, and I think I would have preferred the movie took the same cynical tone as the book.  I have never had a heart-shaped box of chocolates.  Perhaps its my attitude that's turned off any potential suitors!  I just think the movie's twee and saccharine coated.  But you know something?  I'm an Aussie and I 'Crocodile Dundee' makes me cringe.  Thank you for taking the time to check out Zeus.  'Calumny etc' is under Contemporary Women's Fiction, and 'Abernethy' is under 'Children's' (it's a Young Adult, but they've grouped the young adult with children's fiction).  The links are: and  I will do another blog post on movie lines I like soon, and include these direct links, because that may make it easier for people.  With warm regards, Simone
Comment by Matt Syverson on July 18, 2011 at 8:32pm
Okay, Simone. I got a membership to this site just to comment on your post. First, I wholeheartedly agree with your second and third examples. But - to read your opinion of Forrest Gump as 'nausea-inducing' felt like a stab in the gut from Crocodile Dundee's knife. Forrest Gump is one of the most beloved characters in the history of American cinema. And - many heart-shaped boxes of chocolates do not have an index of their flavors. I'm sure almost none did at the time this book/movie was set in. That movie, at least here in the states, is inspirational and much-loved, kind of like "It's A Wonderful Life". Why does it induce such gastro-intestinal distress in you? I tried to find your books on the 'Zeus' website with no luck. Could you please post direct links? Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to be a jerk. Your blog post did its job, and I am intrigued. Best wishes...

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