New Year Baby Refuses 2010 Job by John C. Bieber

The 2010 New Year Baby said he will not sign on to take responsibility for 2010. The Baby was quoted “Are you nuts? I’m not getting involved with all the crap going on down there.” He said referring to Earth and the stream of bad news in 2009.
Traditionally the New Year Baby takes over the new year from previous year baby who, as 2009 Baby has aged very quickly, wears a long white beard and is in poor health. 2009 Baby said he will not continue into 2010. “If that punk thinks I’m workin’ over time, he can kiss my wrinkly ass. I can’t take anymore of this place. That Obama guy is killing me, Al Gore the climate change junk, the crazy jihadists, they’re all nuts.”
Father Time who supervises the exchange of the yearly transfer was disappointed at the report 2010 Baby was refusing to report for work. “It looks like I might have to step in. Boy will I look stupid in a diaper and a top hat. This sucks.”
The Grim Reaper was reached for comment while he was vacationing in Pyongyang, North Korea. “Hey the 2010 baby is a rookie and probably really nervous. That job has been getting harder especially since 1992 when the Clinton’s took over the White House. All kinds of debris surfaced then and it’s still around and getting worse. You think that Obama election was legit? Where do you think Satan was all of 2008, our campaigning for him of course.”
The main hold up for 2010 Baby seems to be his reluctance to come to earth while so many problems are going on. “I don’t think I can handle this. Every part of the world is messed up. There must be someone more qualified than me, I’m just a kid.”
Father Time attempted to contact Santa Clause to ask if he was available to stand in at least temporarily. Santa Clause was already on vacation at Ipanema Beach Resort in Rio de Janeiro and unavailable.
Other holiday icons that were contacted were the Easter Bunny, Boogie Man and Cupid. Their status was undetermined at this time. The Tooth Fairy said “I would not do it, no never. I’m waiting to see what this Obamacare thing is going to do to my business. I expect I’ll have to pay more per tooth.”

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