For book/ebook authors, publishers, & self-publishers
So. Tonight's the big night. School reunion - thirty years since Year 10. Hoo boy. I didn't get to do all those tummy crunches I planned in order to slim down. I was actually a somewhat hot-bodied teenager. I guess I'm passable as a middle-aged woman. Tonight the big questions will be answered: Who got fat? Who went bald? Who had a sex change? Now, what I'm fantasing about is that my old classmates will rock up with copies of my novels for me to autograph. Pie-in-the-sky pipe dream is what that is, I daresay. Anyway, I will hand out business cards which will direct my old classmates to the publisher's website, where my books can be purchased either as e-book or paperback. If you like adult satire, check out the first chapter of 'Calumny while reading Irvine Welsh' at http://www.zeus-publications.com/calumny_while_reading_irvine_welsh..., and if you like young adult, check out 'Abernethy' at http://www.zeus-publications.com/abernethy.htm
I wonder how my old school chums turned out. I have a fair idea as I was on the organising committee. I hope none of them do what some freak did when I was at a book signing one day, which is to tell me that if I put my faith in Jesus my books will sell. Hey, maybe they will. Who knows? I just want the damn things to sell. Do I have to put a video of myself on You Tube, like that deranged Britney Spears fan bawling at everyone to leave Britney ALOOONNNNE! Yes, I'm sure that would look great, me with panda-ringed eyes and dual runners of snot streaming from my nostrils as I implore everyone to buy my books. Any sales resulting from this should be spent on getting back my self-dignity, which will have been hocked well and truly!
Ciao for now!