The Seven Steps to Genuine Forgiveness, Overcoming Deep Hurt, and Starting The Recovery Process To Genuine Healing.
The Seven Steps to Genuine Forgiveness
How to Brake the Cycle of Blame and PainHow to Forgive and Let Go
Life is a never-ending story of highs and lows. But if you can honestly and absolutely forgive the people who offend and deeply wound you along the way, the unavoidable slings and arrows of life are decidedly less piercing.
Foremost, it’s imperative that you view forgiveness as a self-empowering tool – a liberating act done for your enduring benefit. Forgiving another human being allows you to unfetter an emotional ball and chain that you’ve been dragging around for all too long a time.
As a victim of child abuse, even after three and a half Decades (early 1970's); It took me so many years to learn this, and burried the rage of hurt and betrayals inside my soul, but I realized only in recent years, it does nothing to punish the persons responsible, but you hurt yourself. And can impact your relationships with others around you! Jading your view of all people, even the good ones who sometimes receive the brunt of our deep core resentfullness. The you treat them too as guilty suspects, even if they did nothing wrong. And this too was true with a former engagement I had with my first fiance who I caught cheating on me with her married employer I walked right in on it! (Feb 1992; Toronto Ontario). It made me mistrust. However, very fortunately for me, GOD blessed me with a much better woman (replacement fiance) 8 to 9 months later in the opposite ends of the country (Vancouver BC Canada). I got past all these issues, and in June 1993 I married my current wife of 16+ years, and we live in a Happy Bliss with 8 healthy happy children with nearly all A's high grades in school! GOD can work real miracles indeed!
We really got to work hard to make peace in our hearts and soul. God is there to help you make it happen!The rage and anger inside yourself is like corrosive acid to your body. It eats you up inside and is the source of so much illnesses in our bodies. Once you let go, and really truly find lasting peace, I discovered alot of those illnesses subsided or disappeared completely! I find any cancers and the state of mind body and spirit co-habitate at the same time you dwell on those dark memories with emotional attachments.
So, exactly where do you begin your forgiveness voyage? There are seven simple, but nonetheless profound, steps you can walk through to realize the rich benefits of genuine forgiveness. The journey starts with basic recognition:
What Is It That You Want to Forgive?
Before you can forgive another human being, it’s essential that you clearly identify the offense against you. Exactly what was it that hurt you? And why, until now, have you been unable, or unwilling, to forgive the transgressor? There are times in our lives when we may feel tremendous anger and loathing towards an individual, but cannot articulate exactly why we feel the way we do.
Honestly answer these three questions: Who hurt you? What hurt you? And why did this action offend you as it did? This kind of probing personal inquest is the all-important first step in the act of forgiving.
Find a Non-Judgmental Ear
Now comes the time to speak freely about this matter, and precisely what you’re trying to accomplish, with close persons in your life circle. An empathetic and non-judgmental pair of ears is what you need here. These individuals could be friends, family members, spiritual leaders, or even trained therapists. Unburdening yourself is an indispensable catharsis on the road to forgiveness – and a very welcome step two.
Don’t Suppress the Pain
Pain – physical and emotional – is a life one-two punch that we all have to parry every now and then. Like so many of us, you may be in the habit of suppressing your emotional pains – your deepest hurts – because, frankly, that degree of pain is often too much to bear. But while this course of inaction might assist you in existing in the short-term, it’s very detrimental to the long-term.
When you fully own up to, and clearly vocalize, how another person has hurt you, forgiveness is possible. On the other hand, if you opt to merely wallow in anger – in lieu of serious reflection – you will be incapable of forgiving. And, on top of everything else, this anger will wend itself deeper and deeper in your psyche, precluding you from ever knowing what it’s like to be truly emancipated.
Release Your Past & Heal Your Heart
The Truth Will Set You Free
Sometimes it’s the way we’ve been raised. Society also sends a barrage of mixed messages. You know how it goes. You feel guilty for feeling this way or that way. But the truth is that you have every right to feel the way you do, even if your feelings are unattractive and less than edifying.
You are a unique individual – a true original. It’s not for others to tell you that your feelings of anger and hurt are off base, silly, or irrational. By accepting the depths of your genuine feelings, you allow yourself to forgive others. If you deny your bona fide feelings, forgiveness will never be possible.
Honestly Assess Your Role in the Transgression
Life is a far cry from a seamless odyssey. Often it’s a misadventure. It’s therefore critical that you painstakingly appraise your role in the offense committed against you – the one that has so seared your heart and soul. You might uncover that you were anything but an innocent bystander.
By allowing yourself to see the big picture – the rest of the story, as it were – you immediately reap a greater understanding as to why you’ve been offended, and how you may have contributed to your own wound. In being totally honest with yourself concerning what happened and why it happened, the act of forgiveness automatically becomes more sincere and heartfelt.
There will ultimately come a moment when you must decide whether or not to face the person with whom you want to forgive. Very often, this decision is clear-cut. That is, if it’s a relationship of legitimate value to you – one that you want to save or make better – meeting and forgiving the person in question is the obvious road to travel down. If, however, the individual does not fit into this category, there is nothing wrong with forgiving him or her in your heart of hearts, and getting on with your life.
Forgiveness is in essence a release – an act of conscience. The fact that you’ve found it in yourself to unconditionally forgive a person is an uplifting experience in and of itself – enriching to your immediate circumstances as well as to your future days and nights.
Forgiveness Is a Process
We live in an age of instant gratification. Nowadays, it seems like everything’s got to be faster than fast, from Internet speeds to communicating via tweets. But there’s no such thing as high-speed forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness takes time.
It’s a healing process. And depending on the gravity of the transgression against you, it could take a very long time at that. Allow the seven steps to forgiveness to unfold at a pace that’s right for you and what you want to accomplish. There are absolutely no time constraints.
When all is said and done, we are all imperfect human beings who need to both forgive and be forgiven. The seven steps to forgiveness is a beneficial roadmap. Its directions lead to a much better place – a healthier and happier place. I really Hope this helped anyone who reads this with any kind of issues from
the past! We all bear skeletons in our closets, whether it being a victim OR as a DOER of the offense.
This FORGIVENESS process has been my greatest TEACHER in Life! And I thank GOD for giving me the strength and courage to surrender these negative emotions, so they no longer claim any power over me!!!
Take the Free Forgiveness Mini-Course
"MAY PEACE FIND YOU! MAY GOD GIVE YOU SERENITY NOW & FOREVER!!!"
London ~ Ontario ~ Canada
Here is a highly effective "TOOL" to help you on this journey of Forgiveness!
God can never be missing in this important equation of helping you in this process,
but this is a powerful Tool and Guide that you can use along side with your Bible
to cope with the deepest pain you have ever had to endure! YOU CAN & WILL RECOVER!!!
AGAIN, GOD BLESS YOU!!!