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To-Do vs. Inspired-to-Do

I’m a solopreneur who enjoys what I do; so I was amazed when I woke one morning not wanting to do any of it! I had to assess what had happened and flip it.

It started the prior week, and proved to be a needed reminder of what I’d discovered about to-do vs. inspired-to-do, and temporarily forgot.

I had my usual projects and tasks to attend to, as well as new ones. Added to this were concerns about several people I love. It was easy to become involved emotionally (stressed).

When stressed, our tendency is to attempt to do everything as though nothing is different. When extra stress visits us, it’s important to adjust something, even temporarily. That’s not the mainstream approach, but it’s a wiser one.

There was much to do or think about (or so I thought)—familiar to you, I’m sure. I felt so compelled to take action as soon as I woke I left off my morning meditation (even five minutes makes a difference). I grew exhausted from pushing myself to do rather than trust what I felt inspired to do; and looking at my to-do list made me feel more stressed.

I finally decided I’d address any genuine priority, and take a little time off, knowing everything else would still be there after I’d recharged my energy (and attitude) and was ready to resume. Only, after I took time off, I didn’t feel like resuming any of it. I was in mini-burnout. How had I done that to myself?

For the last year, I’ve been following a different daily format: I do primarily what I feel inspired and motivated to do (aligned with what I truly want) rather than take action from a rigid, prioritized to-do list. I can easily imagine gasps from proponents of goal-setting, prioritized list making, and outcome-driven methods as the means to achieve success (and so we appear a certain way to others—let’s not leave out this particular motivation that can lead us astray from our authentic Self experience). I caused the mini-burnout because I’d drifted from my “I feel inspired and motivated to do” to “I must do . . . and do and do” mentality. It didn’t feel good.

The truth is that not everything on my list had to be done or done then—that’s just where my energy was.

Yes, I make lists. I have life matters that need my attention. I have regular and new projects all the time—of my choosing. I know what needs to be done and by when; but I also allow for intuitive nudges, in either direction (they’re always right).

If I consider any logical strategy (to-do) that “should” lead to an outcome I “should” desire, but I don’t feel a zing in my heart, mind, and energy (inspired motivation to do), I’m thinking from a solely outcome-driven perspective (fix or change something) rather than a “What do I want to feel and experience” one (create something I want). It’s a matter of switching outcome-driven for driven by desired experiences, or at least including the latter as an equally important half of the equation. It may seem counterintuitive to follow this path. It certainly contrasts in part what many success gurus say you “must” do.

When I follow what I feel inspired and motivated to do (including rest), I get inspired ideas and other good things come to me—because I’m not too busy (especially mentally) to be open to receive—to be a “magnet” for or creator of desired experiences. And, because I’m aligned at the inner level with a desired experience, what comes to me via the outer level supports this. And, it’s not stressful!

This allows me to be more of who I really am, to give what I truly want to give and enjoy giving it. I experience expanded clarity and pleasant surprises that fit my desired experience rather than extraneous stress from trying to force anything to fit a desired outcome—or striving for an outcome that’s not 100 percent my desire.

Learning to trust what you feel inspired and motivated to do has an adjustment period involved because you can feel timid or downright scared to trust this process will work—even if you’ve thought it’s how you’d like to be and live.

We question why we’re here—our purpose. Which do you think it is for you—to rack up outcomes or to fully engage experiences and evolve through these engagements? A combination? A to-do mentality will achieve outcomes; an inspired-to-do mentality achieves outcomes and more. Plus, you feel enthused and energized rather than stressed or burned out. My life has been a different experience for me since I began to live this way, and is why the “flip” felt so bad.

As soon as I resumed my new approach, everything improved; and I certainly felt my inspired enthusiasm again.

If you’d like to reprint this article, you can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

Become A Conscious Creative ~ Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business allows you to open to and sharpen your intuitive, creative abilities and do this consistently, for any area of your life. Available as an e-book and/or an 8-week coaching program ~ Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, Author, and Publisher of State of Appreciation. Details and lots of free resources at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

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Comment by Joyce Shafer, LEC and Author on January 25, 2010 at 10:09am: Joseph, thank you for your comments. As I read your posting, a couple of thoughts came to mind to share. One was an article I published several years back because of its relevance to your current experience. The other thought is to offer that our feelings give us genuine information, our thoughts—we have to watch out for those. Thoughts are often repetitious and non-supportive programs rather than new and helpful ones. With the experience you describe of illness followed by loss, we can feel what we believe are contrasting feelings: sadness from the loss, deep emotions from watching someone we love suffer, relief that it’s over for them—and for us, and guilt about all of this. Our thoughts might lead us to judge our emotions; and this causes us to not honor what we feel, which impedes our ability to move through them into a better place. Emotions are information and should not be judged—managed well on our behalf—yes; judged—no. I hope you’ll read what follows and I hope it provides benefit for you and your wife.

Pain is Inevitable; Suffering is Optional
By Joyce Shafer

When I started to write this article, I was in that lofty place of being removed from the topic, yet having something to say about it. Half-way through the article, something happened and I was no longer writing about emotional pain and suffering, I was living it. Sort of changes, or refines, one’s perspective.

I was feeling emotional pain, yet simultaneously trying to lift myself out of it with every tool in my bag, as though it was wrong to feel this way. After all, I coach empowerment and write about it! You know, it just wasn’t the time for this attitude. I understood that “This, too, shall pass,” and was conscientious that I’d attract more of what I focused on, so was juggling a lot of stuff. I’d entered into resistance and wasn’t allowing myself to have this experience.

When our lives are impacted in this way, we have myriad emotions: denial, anger, despair, loss of energy . . . I’m sure each of you could add to this list based on your own experiences. It’s called being human. So as my inner battle ensued, I decided to cease inner-fire and pay attention, to observe my Self. I saw that my fear-driven imagination had kicked into gear. It went beyond what I knew about what was happening and took this event far past what was. It was like watching Dominoes, each imprinted with segmented images of my life rather than dots, falling and causing the next to fall, and the next, and the next. You get the picture.

This was how I was causing additional suffering. Only the actual event was real, everything else was illusion. But my body, mind, and emotions were feeling these imaginings as though they were occurring; and, this was what I had to stop.

When something in our life shifts on a large or small scale, we might enter into illusion, often fearfully, about how the rest of our lives will be impacted. When something beyond our control happens, we might feel we’ve lost the ability to control anything. We might feel the effects of an event down to our core, but what happens after that, what we choose to do and where we choose to go from there, is something we can control or influence. We might even feel immobilized; but, eventually, we begin to move again. Hopefully, forward. Negative energy can feel eternal, but it isn’t.

I don’t know what’s going to happen regarding this event. In this moment, I’ve surrendered to not knowing. It will resolve eventually. It doesn’t have to affect any other area of my life unless I allow it. One pattern or truth has been constant in my life: Whatever happens, happens for a reason; and it always creates or evolves into something that is ultimately positive in my life. I’ve decided to allow all the natural, human emotions to surface so I can work with them; but, I’ve chosen not to add to the suffering. Where I can take action, I will. Where I cannot, I’ll address it from the inner level.

No one can decide for us how long we grieve or how much time is needed to come to terms with events. It takes as long as it takes. However, we can help ourselves in the process. We can honor what we feel. We can be deliberate about not adding to our suffering. Pain is inevitable; extending or adding to our suffering is optional.

Comment by Joseph M. Perez on January 25, 2010 at 8:17am: A great many events have sort of turn our world upside down these past few months. My wife's mom-Frieda-passed away this January 12th-she was aged 86. She had lived with us for near 29 years. I must say here that my mom passed in 1980-March 10th. I think, for me, Frieda succeeded my mom as my mom. On top of everything else my wife became unemployed this January 15th. There went close to half the household income. At least I still have a full time job though how long that will last is anyone's guess. I turn 61 this Monday coming-wife turns 64 the end of March. We are wondering what would come of us should something happen with or to my job. Both of us are stressed a bit from current events, and I can't seem to make headway with book sales-add frustration to stress. I have a goal of selling 100K books now, whereas, before these events, I just wanted to see my words in print. Balance is definitely off for both of us. Though I've started another writing I have lost the inspiration to continue. My wife, Leetheresa, was about ten seconds away from burnout when her mom passed-what with the elder being bed bound and in diapers for the last several years. Both of us are wondering how long it will take to get past the depression and grieving, and once again find the inspiration to continue-to reach that balance necessary-to feel free once more.