For book/ebook authors, publishers, & self-publishers
I've been reading a novel about a writer, and the story describes his book sales as 'modest'. Well, I guess my book sales can be described that way, too. But you know what? I don't want them to be modest anymore, I want them to become 'slutty'. I guess if people use the word 'modest' to describe less-than-spectacular sales, then I would imagine that 'slutty' would be a good word to describe multitudinous sales. Yep, I want 'em to be slutty; slutty as the gangbang moll that used to operate from either behind the local bowling alley, or in the Church of England graveyard, as was the case in the town where I grew up. Yes, I know it's a bit creepy to ply your wares in a graveyard at night, but hey, whatever revs your engine. I still get a little creeped out when I remember being told about this guy and this girl, both about fifteen at the time, doing the wild thang near one of those crumbly old headstones where the elements have worn away the lettering, and they therefore don't know whose grave they're defiling. It's probably some fine old stalwart, or some brave young man who had his guts blown out at The Somme.
So I'm desperately trying to besmirch my books sales. If you like adult satire, check out 'Calumny While Reading Irvine Welsh' at http://www.zeus-publications.com/calumny_while_reading_irvine_welsh... and read the blurb and Ch1. Then, hopefully, click on the book cart.
If you're into Young Adult with a touch of the supernatural in the form of a talking beagle, check out 'Abernethy' at http://www.zeus-publications.com/abernethy.htm. Follow the same procedure as above.