What Is the Only Thing You Have Absolute Control Of?

Did you get the answer to this question immediately? Horace said, “Life is largely a matter of expectations.” Expectations have a lot to do with the one thing you can control.

There is one thing in life you have absolute control over: Your attitude.

An excellent quote to remember is, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional” (Bruce Schneider, Founder/Director of iPEC). A fact of life is that pain visits all of us at one time or another. What we choose to do with it shapes who we are and our life experiences. When we suffer emotionally, if we have the courage to look deeply enough, we find a belief is the root cause of our pain or discomfort.

The most commonly-held belief is, “This shouldn’t be happening.” But, as you know, stuff happens.

What do we usually do when something painful comes into our lives? We dwell on it, don’t we? What we could do instead is first, allow time for our feelings. It is necessary to feel what we feel. Denial of this means what we feel will have to come out at some point, in some way—even as a health issue. Give yourself time to honor your emotions. As you do this, trust that the morning will come when you wake up feeling even a little bit better. Trust that when you’re ready, you’ll feel this way more and more each new day. Choose it.

When you feel strong enough, take an objective look at what happened. Did you have an agenda or expectations? Were your expectations realistic? How can you grow from this? What will you do now to move forward by even one step?

A good place to start is by looking at what you believe. When appropriate, here are two things you can do: Think about something you currently suffer about emotionally or hesitate to strive for.

1. State, in one sentence, what your underlying belief about this issue is.

2. Create one sentence that changes that belief to one you really want, helps you feel the way you really want to feel now.

Now, a little science. The Universe creates bits of matter where and when we focus our attention. Light is a wave until it is observed—and then, it becomes a particle. Why is this important to know? Because this means we live in a universe that creates our individual and group realities by reflecting back to us our (usually) deepest feelings and expectations.

What generally triggers a somewhat (or profound) negative response in people when they read this is the idea they may actually influence their lives—may actually be responsible for more of what they experience than they really want to be. Also, humans resist change. To become more responsible in this way means becoming more consciously aware and taking more conscious actions—and to remember we teach people how to treat us by virtue of how we treat (and take care of) ourselves.

We all know people who seem to exist in victim- or martyr-mode. It’s important to understand that emotions release chemicals in our bodies. We can become “addicted” to these chemicals, which causes us to seek out or create situations that allow more of these chemicals to be released—to fill our “need.” Someone in a negative mode may have to make an extra effort to “lift themselves up”—or, they may do so immediately, if that’s their choice.

If a person continually releases stress hormones into their body, in time, health is negatively impacted. And, if someone releases natural mood-elevating chemicals more often, they strengthen their immune system which results in better health. If for no other reason than improved quality of life and health, people would benefit by acknowledging a more positive approach to life may provide better outcomes.

Focus on how you can become more consciously involved in the process of your life, how you can move it and yourself forward. Moving forward is an ongoing process in life. Better to participate than just let life happen to you.

EXCERPT FROM: How to Have What You REALLY Want by Joyce Shafer

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Shift Happens. But, the shift you want can happen faster with a coach. Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) – You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author of Reinvent Yourself—coaching to meet your desired experiences and outcomes. Learn about the buddy-coaching discount, energy expansion e-books, and read her most recent newsletter—all designed to enrich your life experience at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com