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Emotions constantly stirring, no quietness or peace, just the same companion....worrying.  How to shut off these mental images and fearful thoughts, deliver me Jesus from the demonic darts. Sleep or wherever it is I go offers me a few hours of escape depending on the number of pills I take.  Each day seems like dejavu, if I only could awake to a day feeling rested and new. My God who made me created me with special wiring able to withstand stress beyond my wildest dreams,in the end God....what did all this really mean?  I know Jesus is willing to take my burden, he paid for it on Calvary's Cross, why have I taken my eye off him and allowed Satan to be boss?  It's amazing the pain and suffering some people have to endure, if we just listened as children and not fallen for evil's lure.  Whatever sin you've allowed yourself to be bound by, it's been paid for and covered, don't believe another Satanic lie.  The battleground exist in the gray matter that's your brain, when you surrender your thought life the outcome produces a great amount of pain. You ask yourself is suicide the answer or just a shorter path....to see God at that moment or live your life, you do the math.  Satan wants you to end it quick, he's been the culprit that's kept you awake night after night, worn our and sick.  The Bible tells us over and over to put our trust in Jesus and ask him for deliverance when we pray, I feel like I've been praying forever, Jesus please don't make me wait until Judgement Day.  When you're suffering you'll always start to question your worth, mankind's been rehearsing that lie since the foundation of the earth.  Renew your mind, fill your mind and heart with the good things you've heard, start listening to the next sermon instead of day dreaming, the Blessings right there in God's word.  Lies have been his nature since the dawn of time, this destroyer wants your soul and he wants mine.  His advances are very subtle, he comes to you as an 'Angel of Light', by the time you've heard all his lies you'll start to believe wrong is right.  For all the hours I labored to give Satan his undue Glory, God's plan for my life is history's greatest Love Story.  I admit it and I'm not ashamed to say, I really got it wrong, but thanks to God for allowing me to approach you when I pray.  Right now it seems pretty empty and dark, heal me Jesus, set me free. I want to be a broken vessel you've put back together for the whole world to see.  Please help me Holy Spirit to keep my eyes on Jesus and not on myself, it's then and only then that God reveals one's worth!

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