When Insults Had Class

Once upon a time, before the advent of the two word insult ending in 'you', There were those who's pride in language and articulation made the art of the insult worth the effort. To those who enjoy the classics, I submit the following:

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.-- Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.-- Groucho Marx

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.-- Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. -- Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing 2 tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one. -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.-- Winston Churchill's response

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.-- Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator. -- John Bright

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.-- Irvin S. Cobb

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. -- Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.-- Paul Keating

He had delusions of adequacy.-- Walter Kerr

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?-- Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.-- Mae West

Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!> > -- Winston Churchill, in response to Lady Astor

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.--Unknown, but still true.