Sample Story From Wooffer

HO CHI TAKES A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE

Ho Chi lived in a big pen at the very back of Wooffer’s yard, under a very large tree that was hung with Spanish Moss. Ho Chi was a very big, very black, very pot bellied, very short legged pig. She did not do much, except eat (her favorite thing to do), play in the mud, and lay on her side and listen to the fantastic tales the crows told as they ate her corn. The crows told tales of far away places, and wild lands where the rivers were milk and every hollow tree was full of honey. Of places that, when the moon was full, the pigs danced and sang and had such good times that no one could describe the fun they had. Ho Chi listened to every story, and believed them all. She began to long to see these wonderful places that the crows had seen.

One day, after hearing the crows talk about a wonderful place called “Lester’s Field”, she asked, “Just where are these places you talk about?”

“Well, if you want to know where Lester’s Field is… it’s in that direction.” one crow pointed out the direction to Lester’s Field… “and if you want to know where the Wild Lands are, they are in that direction through the woods. “… and if you want to know where the Milk and Honey are, they are down the road.”

Ho Chi could think of nothing else. She wanted to see the WORLD! She made up her mind to do just that.

That night, Ho Chi dug with her snout, she dug with her toes, until she had a very large hole under the pen. She wiggled and wriggled and huffed and snorted, and at last she was standing on the outside of the pen. She tried to remember in which direction the Milk and Honey were, and finally decided that the crows had said it was “down the road.” Ho Chi ran as fast as her short legs would go, and in a short while, she was out the gate and in the middle of the road. She breathed a big sigh of relief, and trotted off down the road in search of the rivers of Milk and the hollow logs full of Honey. Ho Chi had walked for a long time, when at last she came upon a bridge. Under the bridge was a river. She ran down the bank and had a taste. “Nothing but water,” she said with disappointment. “Maybe it is just a little further on.”

But, after walking for what seemed to her, hours, there was no river of Milk and she had not seen one hollow tree where Honey might be.

Ho Chi left the road and went into a big pasture. “This must be Lester’s Field,” she said, and it was. Maudie, the horse watched her as she strolled across and so did Ibie the Ibis. They would remember to ask Wooffer about this creature. Neither one had seen anything like Ho Chi. Ho Chi wandered on in the dark, not knowing where she was, and thinking what to do next, when out of no-where a big black dog leaped up and grabbed her by the ear!! Ho Chi had accidentally wandered into Brutus’ yard! Brutus was on a long chain and Chipoff and Blocko were locked in their pen, or Ho Chi would have been done for right then! But she got away with just a torn ear. It hurt her a lot, but she was so scared that she ran for a long time before she stopped. Then she really did not know where she was. Ho Chi was lost and her ear hurt. She was beginning to wish she had stayed at home.

The next morning, when Wooffer’s mom went to give Ho Chi her breakfast, she found the big hole that Ho Chi had dug and no sign of Ho Chi. The crows were all sitting in the tree waiting for her to fill up the pig’s dish, but that is not what happened. Wooffer’s mom took the corn into the house and called for Wooffer. “Ho Chi is gone and you must use your great nose to find her right away.” Of course, Wooffer agreed. They went to the pig pen and Wooffer sniffed all around the tracks that led away from the pen and followed them to the gate. Wooffer is not allowed to cross the road, as you know, but this was an emergency! Who could know what might happen to Ho Chi if they did not find her soon?!!! So, Wooffer’s mom clipped his leash to his collar and down the road they went. Down to the river, and off into Lester’s Field, and over to where Brutus was chained and through the Orange Grove and they were back at the road and at their front gate.

Wooffer was pulling on the leash and running. His mom ran, too, and soon they were back at Ho Chi’s pen, and there in the pen was Ho Chi, her very own self!!!!

When Ho Chi had run from Brutus, she thought she would never see her home again. She had slept in the Orange Grove all night, not knowing how close to home she was. Her ear had hurt her badly. When morning came, she saw that she was near the road again, and she knew it was the road that she had gone on in search of the rivers of Milk and the hollow logs of Honey.

Maybe it would take her home. She had walked a long way, and at last she saw the gate. No pig has ever been so happy to see a gate as Ho Chi was to see THAT GATE!!! Home! Home!!! She raced to her pen and climbed back through the big hole she had dug to get out. Never again would she listen to the stories the crows told! Never!

Wooffer’s mom washed her wounded ear and put some special salve on it so it would quit hurting, and brought her breakfast of corn. The crows tried to eat some of it and Ho Chi chased them away. No more crow stories for her! Ho Chi was happy to be at home.

A whole day had not gone by before the crows were explaining to Ho Chi how she had made a lot of mistakes. First, when they said the Milk and Honey were down the road, they had meant “as the crow flies,” which is a lot different than “as a pig walks,” and secondly, Lester’s Field was only good for birds, such as crows and egrets. How were they supposed to know she was going to run off like that?

Ho Chi listened to these explanations and thought that maybe she had been wrong. So she let the crows eat her corn again, and she listened to all the stories they had to tell.

Wooffer’s mom filled in the hole that Ho Chi had dug to get out and life went on as it usually did for a while. Ho Chi ate and played in the mud and listened to stories and the crows ate her corn. But, Ho Chi still wanted to see the world. She thought about the Wild Lands and the pigs that danced under the full moon and what fun they must be having dancing and singing under the full moon. She thought about it a lot.

One day, when Wooffer and his mom brought Ho Chi her breakfast, Ho Chi whispered to Wooffer, “Can you stay a while, I need to ask you something.” So Wooffer hung around after his mom went back to the house. Ho Chi began right away, “I have heard from the crows, that on the full moon the pigs in the Wild Lands dance and sing and have so much fun that it is impossible to describe. I want to go see, but I don’t want to be lost in the woods and never find my way home again. What can I do?!!!”

Wooffer thought a while and said, “Why don’t I ask my mom? She knows what to do about everything!!” Well, Ho Chi was not sure Wooffer’s mom would know. She thought she would never see the dancing and singing, but she agreed that Wooffer could ask his mom.

When Wooffer asked his mom, she thought it was a wonderful idea! First, she checked the calendar to see when the next full moon was. It was two days away. Wooffer’s mom went and talked to Ho Chi. It was all set!! She would be very proud to escort Ho Chi to her first dance in the moonlight! Ho Chi was so excited, she could think of nothing else!!! The day of the full moon at last. Wooffer’s mom got out her sleeping bag and a small tent. She made some sandwiches and put in some water to drink. Then she went out and got Ho Chi out of her pen and gave her a bath with a lot of soap and water and shampoo. She combed her hair and parted it down the middle. She tied a big blue bow in her hair and sprayed perfume behind each ear. Ho Chi felt very beautiful, indeed. It was still light, as Ho Chi and Wooffer’s mom set off through the woods in search of the place where pigs danced and sang. They reached a big clear space overhung with big tree branches and enclosed by smaller bushes all around. Wooffer’s mom said, “This must be the place!” So she and Ho Chi went a little way off and set up the tent. They ate the sandwiches and drank the water and waited until the big full moon rose, round and shining, in the sky. Ho Chi was trying not to get dirty while she looked around. Wooffer’s mom had gotten her pillow and sleeping bag ready and was listening for any sound of wild pigs. She lay a blanket down on the ground for Ho Chi to rest upon.

The bright light of the moon cast shadows, long and dark, and every rustle startled Ho Chi. The frogs began to sing and were joined by the crickets and other insects of the swamp. It was a concert that rose and fell and yet the stillness and loneliness of the woods was overpowering. Ho Chi began to wonder if the crows had lied again, and she was glad she was not alone.

Then came the song, very far off:

From the swamps of OOO--Keee-Fen-oooooooOKee!!!!

To the farm with the Old Oak Tree

We will bite the dog that hunts us

On the tail and nose and knees

We will fight for the right to forage Through ferns and woods and trees

We are proud to be the wild hogs

Of the Wild Lands where we’re free!!

Wooffer’s mom heard this song, too. She thought she had heard the tune somewhere before. Hummmm hum hummms hum humm-hum-hummmmmm-hum-hum…

The song came nearer and nearer, until it was loud as loud could be. Itwas the wild hogs. They came into the clearing still chanting their song, lined up in a long row, kicking their feet in time to the music.

Ho Chi wanted to run out and join in the dance, but Wooffer’s mom held her back. “We had better wait for a while until we see ‘what is what.’”

As the wild hogs chanted and danced on into the wee hours of the morning. Ho Chi watched. Wooffer’s mom could see that Ho Chi was very disappointed just sitting there watching. So she brought out a small bag of corn she had packed with her sleeping bag and gave it to Ho Chi. She said, “Take this as a present and a token of good will from our farm to the Wild Lands.”

So, Ho Chi strolled out right in the middle of the clearing and poured the corn on the ground. “This is a present from the farm pigs to pigs of the Wild Lands.” she said, with pride.

Well, you have never in your life seen such as went on next! Every pig there rushed to the pile of corn and began to bite and snarl and slash and kick and yell and squeal and snort, until poor Ho Chi was quite pushed out of the way! No, thank you!

No, how kind of you! No you shouldn’t have! It was a Pig Eat What Pig Could Eat World!! No one told her how nice her hair looked. No one told her how good her perfume smelled. No one cared a small bit what her name was or even that she was there at all. Poor Ho Chi felt lucky to get back to the tent with her life!!!

Wooffer’s mom had watched the whole thing. It was a disgraceful display of uncivilized behavior!!! When Ho Chi came running back, she told her to come into the tent. Ho Chi cried that night and Wooffer’s mom put her arm around her and told her what a beautiful pig she was and how much every one on the farm loved her… especially Wooffer. Ho Chi sniffled “R-R-R-eally?!!” She had never thought that Wooffer liked her very much.

Wooffer’s mom said, ‘“Really!, and Silverthorne and Old Agnes, and Margaret, and Cho Lee, and Mildred, and Claudie, and Sir Doodah and all the other squirrels love you, too! “ Ho Chi felt a lot better knowing these things and fell asleep. She dreamed the nicest dreams and when morning came, she and Wooffer’s mom walked home and talked all the way of the wide world and what is in other lands and where they are and who lives there and why we are the same and why we are different.