Olympia, Washington—What’s Crowded Nest Syndrome? It’s when your home, your nest if you will, includes more than just yourself and/or your spouse. A crowded nest can involve returning adult children, taking care of aging parents, raising grandchildren, or any other relatives or friends that move in.
You Know You’re Living in a Crowded Nest When…
—Your other car is a U-Haul.
—You have to take a number to use the bathroom.
—There’s a waiting list for the washing machine.
—The fire department pulls your occupancy permit.
—You go to use your car on Monday morning and the gas tank is empty.
—You buy $250 worth of groceries and it disappears in less than 24 hours.
June 12 is CNS Awareness Day. If you don’t live in a crowded nest, be grateful. If you know someone who does, take them out to dinner, give them two tickets to a movie, anything to get them out of the house for some peace and quiet.
Rules to Survive Crowded Nest Syndrome:
—Do not make them comfortable; they will never leave.
Padlock everything, the washer & dryer, the refrigerator and your bathroom.
—More Laundry + More People = Cold Showers
Hot water tanks handle only so much. Get yours in first.
—Take care of yourself; no one else will.
Find your happy place and go there—often. Eat right, exercise, and hide out at Wal-Mart, at least they’re paid to smile at you.
—You have the right to eat your own leftovers.
Boomerangs go right for Styrofoam boxes, doggie bags. Hide them in the vegetable bin.
—This is not the Marriott, no Free Amenities.
Set up a schedule for the computer, the telephone and the television. Charge for them accordingly. Laundry services? Sure, at so much per load.
Whoever wakes up first has access to the most.
Chocolate is sacred, hoard it
When all else fails, double your Prozac.
Happy CNS Awareness Day, June 12th.
Copyright © 2007, Kathleen Shaputis is the author of “The Crowded Nest Syndrome,” a humorous look at a growing trend in America. Available at Amazon.com and www.Shaputis.com.