Merry Christmas!

This year has been a bit of a roller coaster trying to discover how to mother my eight children while we all learn to accept my husband’s and their father’s death.  It has been a time of trial and error, a time of experimentation, a time of wonderful successes and a few wobbly failures.  But through it all, we have learned to care for each other more deeply and with greater sensitivity.

I have learned that I cannot do everything I want to do.  In fact, I can’t go to the store, teach at home, write a creative story, and make healthy meals all at the same moment. Slowing down, prioritizing, and cutting out some activities has been  the cure for what ails me.  And that has been hard.  I do not like to face limitations.  Yet at the same time, I do not like failure.  And I do fail when I let my pride rule me.  When I let me zeal for to-do lists blind me to the fact that I have not read a story to my kids or taken a walk outside for days, that meals have become shabby affairs quickly thrown together or that I get short tempered during reading time.  It is almost like a mental illness when I find that I am whizzing around like a rat on a wheel not sure what I am doing or where I am going.

That is why I chose to take time off writing & blogging for a few weeks.  I had to reconsider how I am spending my life.  I needed to remember what I was Thankful for – not just prepare and consume a huge meal at Thanksgiving time.  I needed to rejoice that God sent his Son to us – to save us from ourselves.  The lists, the details, the rush, the activities were blinding me to the very purpose of my existence.

So, we have had a slower season.  We have not accomplished very much, though we have been very grateful for what we have accomplished.  The kids did well in school.  My eldest son passed his CNA class.  We celebrated Thanksgiving with John’s parents, making the meal ourselves and enjoying the playful time together. I got my latest fiction novel, Georgios I – Hidden Heritage, published. We had an evening to put up the Christmas tree together and decorate it – even though it promptly fell down a few minutes later.  We visited John’s grave site and we cried, prayed, talked and grieved openly. Very healing in its way.  Now we are about to celebrate the joy of a little baby – a gift of gifts.  God is very gracious.  It would be terrible not to notice that.

I pray that all of you have time to simply be with loved ones, to remember why God created you and why He put your family members into your life.  He does nothing without purpose. Perhaps He knew you’d pray for them when they forget to pray for themselves.

May God bless you this holy season.  Merry Christmas and a joy-filled New Year.

Ann