One Answer to Request For a Donation

Years ago my husband and I were bombarded by businesses asking for donations and well, he decided to respond to one in the most unusual manner. Actually I thought it was funny and so I’m posting it for you to read. I was to the Humane Society and to be honest they had a sense of humor about it. In return we actually sent them a check. Here is the response to the letter sent by ‘Little Bit’, a shelter pet.

Dear Little Bit,

I was so glad to have received your letter but contrary to what you have heard my masters are very mean to me. They hardly feed me at all and the last time I was bathed I nearly drowned. At least the food you receive at the shelter is nutritionally balanced. I’m lucky if they throw an occasional dead rat in my bowl. Hey, that fixed up thing you mentioned you got after your accident, how can I get in on a deal like that? Two years ago I got mangled by a radiator fan I was sleeping on (imagine my surprise!!) my tail is still bent at right angles and every time I hear a car start up it throws me into a seizer.

It must be nice to have your human to talk to. Mine are rather stupid and only speak using one word and occasionally my name or a few other words. It goes like this, “blah, blah, blah, Rio, blah, blah, blah, you damn cat, blah, blah, blah.” As for walks, well, I guess you could say that I go on those frequently. My owner’s son keeps shoving me into the hamster wheel. I don’t fit well but I do so enjoy the snacks and am very glad they replenish so quickly.

I have heard of a new form of travel from the dog thing that lives here but I am not quite sure if its for me. Do you know what a frequent flyer mile is?

Hey bud, enclosed is a few dollars. Maybe you could buy a new master. It’s too late for me. I’m doomed!! But take my advise, you have it good where you are at. You are lucky that they won’t let you out. It’s not easy on the outs. I am truly sorry that you are homeless but at least your life doesn’t suck as bad as mine.

Your friend,

Rio

P.S.: What is with the subliminal doggie thing on your stationery?? Your not a dog thing are you? I would hate to think my pen pal is a dog thing. Write back soon.