“Kiddo, is that you?”

Kiddo refrained himself from answering.  Besides, he had the cookie in his mouth and was attempting to lug the milk onto the counter.  He swung his leg up over the stool, catapulted his body over the counter, swung open the cabinet door, grabbed a glass, reversed himself and then attempted to pour himself a glass of milk before his mother made it into the kitchen.

“There you are!”  Kiddo had neither the vocabulary nor the imagination to say “Elementary, dear Watson, but he was thinking something along those lines.  The milk was cold and soothing as it went down.  He barely peeked at his mother over the rim.  She did not look happy.  He looked back to the bottom of the glass.

“The school called.”  Dove had her arms folded high over her chest.  Her hair was messy as if she had been cleaning under the sofa and she had a cut on her finger.

“What did you do to your finger, mom?”

“I nearly bit it off when your teacher told me what you said today.  What on earth were you thinking?  How could you say such a thing?  We don’t use those words around here…well, at least not often and if I do, I am very sorry for it afterwards.”

Kiddo looked down at the floor.  He began to blink.  “But I didn’t know it was wrong.  Little Billy Hopper says things like that all the time and everyone thinks he is great.  Bensen Jensen said it once when he told how he had been humiliated at the airport.  He said that stewardess was a regular bi-”

“Stop!  Stop it, you hear!” Dove’s hands were down now and one was within striking range.  “I know people say things like that…but you said quite a bit more.  You insulted your classmate and your principal.  Don’t you realize what you were calling them?  You were…well, never mind…those are words you should never use.  Or at least not unless at the worse extremity.”

Kiddo’s face was now stained with tears.  “But it was the worst case.  Shelly said that I was a brat and that I’d grow up to shovel cow dung so I said what Billy said when someone insulted him.  And when I heard the teacher call for the principal, I just said what you say every time you get hurt.  After all, oh sh-”

Dove’s hand went up.  Kiddo took the hint and closed his mouth. His eyes spoke for him.  Dove put her hand back down.  “Da-”  Dove put her hand in front of her mouth.  “She looked at her son and tears were in her eyes.  She murmured.  “Tasha never did this.”

Kiddo looked up at his mother.  “Oh, yes she does.  But she’s smarter than me.  She says it when you’re not around.”

“Well, you’re still to blame for what comes out of your mouth. I’ve told you never to use ugly words.  Maybe I haven’t always set the perfect example…but that’s no reason to copy my worst behavior.  I am human too, you know.”  Dove knew she was beat and picked up the empty glass and went to the sink.  “I’ll speak to your dad tonight and he’ll think of a proper punishment for us both.”

Kiddo shook his head.  “Well, at least I got our of science.  I hate science it su-”

“Stop!”

Kiddo looked at his mother imploringly as he headed toward his room.  “You’ll need to give me a list.  I don’t know how to talk anymore.”

Jettison swished his beer in his glass and listened with cool impartiality while Dove gave him the lowdown on the day’s events.  “Well, it’s no surprise really.  The world is full of foul mouths.  Every song you hear on the radio, nearly every movie and TV show, every kid around here talks a lot worse than kiddo.  I’ve often wondered how we kept him so innocent for so long.”

“But you don’t think its right, do you?  I mean, he doesn’t even know what he is saying.  At least I hope not.”

Jettison stared into his glass and frowned.  “I hope not too. But I am not sure how to fix the problem.  We can’t exactly give him a lesson on every foul word we know.  Talk about shocking.”  Jettison looked at his wife.  “No, I think the best thing we can do is set a better example ourselves and perhaps show him what the less, shall we say, adult words mean.  Then perhaps he will get the idea.  But if we don’t have control over ourselves…we really are working against our own interests.  And we might need to set some ground rules for visitors.”

Dove nodded.  “Yes, I was thinking about that.  Bensen called earlier today. He want’s to come by  for the weekend.  He says he has business in town and he needs a place to stay while he gets his contacts in order.  He is so full of – hot air…”

Jettison smiled.  “He is, but for once I won’t mind a little visit from your brother.  As a matter of fact, I’ll welcome him with both arms.”

Dove picked up the nearly empty beer glass.  “How many of these have you had?”

“Two, but that’s not the point.  It turns out that Bensen worked for the Lawrences last summer.  He was in and out of their house for months.  Now, don’t tell me, he didn’t see anything.”

“Bensen?  Why he never sees beyond himself.”

“Well, my dear, have you forgotten how good I am at ferreting out information?  Remember when you tried to hide my birthday gift?  I figured it out in less than two days – using only a few clues - what you wouldn’t tell me and other such resources. I am going to get to the bottom of this murder case if it is the last thing I do!”

Dove pressed her hands together.  “Don’t say it like that.  I’ve spent a whole afternoon trying to watch my words…because you know…they can mean things.”