A Tax on Your Carbs - John C. Bieber

I read a few news stories recently reporting that during these challenging economic times, fast food consumption is up. Some might think that just the opposite would be true; that is until you are the hungry one and you only have three bucks in your pocket.

As one who discovered the value of the “dollar menu” at McDonald’s many years ago, I can testify to the inexpensive satisfaction that can be bought for three dollars and a trip through the drive through. I’d like to site a few examples (I’ve limited my research to my local quick mart Wawa and Mickey D’s so as not to overwhelm you the reader and because I’m lazy). Wawa sells one 12 oz. cup of mixed fruit for $2.99; compare that to McDonald’s two double cheeseburgers and one huge sweet tea for $3.00. Wawa offers a 7.8 oz. turkey BLT salad for $3.99 while at the same time if you turn around and check the ice cream section you’ll find a 14 oz. Haagen Daz butter pecan container of bliss for the same price. You could also buy two hygienically sealed hard boiled eggs that you must peel yourself for $1.99 or go for the easy opening giant ice cream sandwich for $1.09. To me it seems like no contest when you consider cost per calorie, deliciousness and bulk. The carbs always win. Carbohydrates are deliciously cheap. A person could eat for pennies a day on a box of boiled pasta. OK, you should eat an orange now and them to avoid scurvy, but the point is that meat protein and fruits are expensive.

There is a new term in the dietary lexicon called the “Fat Gap”. These are overweight people who are oblivious the fact they are heavy. I see a lot of Fat Gap women roaming around obliviously showing their muffin top bellies over jeans three sizes too small. If eating healthy was so important and if obesity is such a threat to America, why isn’t there a Nanny State program to save us from our carbo consuming selves? Couldn’t the president reduce the cost of “good for ya” foods with a safe foods subsidy or help us with a punishing Carbo Tax that will tax us into eating better and getting our minds right about food? Maybe a Carbo-Offset where we would earn credit toward celery and tofu purchases with every free range organic chicken we buy. I’m sure that would motivate me to buy gluten free water cress biscuits rather than Tastykake butterscotch krimpets. But oh, the unintended consequences of eating carbohydrate-free would be the massive lay-offs at the Twinkie and Ring-Ding factories

In an age where Americans cannot be trusted to eat properly, why hasn’t Mr. Obama bailed us out from our bad eating habits? Think of all the thousands of government beaurocrat jobs that could be created to monitor, regulate and enforce good eating compliance. At least one new cabinet post – Secretary of Gastric Correctness or a Carbo-Czar. This would fall right into Mr. Obama’s theory of economics that says to stimulate the economy you must expand government. Huh? That makes as much sense as hiring traffic cops to save the auto industry. I don’t even want to think about where vegetarians and vegans fit into the food correctness movement. They do seem to snoot their noses at us meat eaters don’t they? Well, as Aunt Voula in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” said, “What you mean you don’t eat no meat? OK, I make lamb.”

You can contact John through his website; www.JohnCBieber.com