Are Personal Connections Fading?

I have a friend who I've known for a really long time. If I ever needed something: a ride to the airport, help with a flat tire, an opinion on a career issue, even a pair of extra hands on moving day, I know he would be there. However, there's one thing I've really noticed about him, and many others I'm acquainted with: their communication skills have fallen victim to our non-personal technological age.

Here's an example: I was sitting at home the other evening watching the NBA finals. After the game was finished, I flipped on my computer to check my e-mails. I recognized his address and clicked. It had been sent about four hours prior inviting me to join him, and some other friends to watch at a favorite watering hole. I would've liked to have gone. Among them was someone who'd recently been diagnosed with cancer, making me wish I could've seen him and asked how he was doing. But, the evening was over now; the chicken wings, nachos, and chips with salsa already consumed. What immediately came to the forefront in my mind was, "Why not just ring and ask me to go? Why not follow up with a simple call?" A one minute phone conversation, to me, is often less laboring than typing letters on a blank, barren screen. My point? Why is an e-mail or text now the standard means of communication? Clearly, for an ever-increasing number, the only means.

Obviously, I use technology a lot in my professional life. I e-mail, use social media, write my novels on a digital screen, have some bells and whistles in my car, and yes, text with my smart phone. I enjoy technology. It's really brought a lot of convenience to our everyday lives. But, when it comes to my close, personal relationships, I still strongly prefer a phone call, or even better, a face-to-face conversation. I refuse to become robot-like. Some laugh at that, say I'm not willing to enter the modern age. But, electronic communication doesn't allow you to hear the tone of someone's voice, their mood, attitude, sincerity, love, kindness, and generosity. You can't see their facial expressions, or body language. You can't tell if their happy, or going through a period of sadness. In other words, the sentences written on a computer are more aloof and emotionless, and I find them cold and uninviting when it comes to sincere, personal interaction. Maybe, I'm just one who still believes people really matter, that so called old-fashioned ways of communicating are much more desirable. Sure, a quick text saying you're running a few minutes late while meeting someone for dinner is okay, but...

So, why do so many now embrace this as the norm? Why are we falling into this emotionless trap door? Is it because of convenience, time management demands, perhaps a lack of being able to truly connect with one another, or maybe even a touch of laziness? And what about our children growing up with cell phones placed in their hands as soon as they utter their first sentences?

The communication skills among our youth has deteriorated sharply, I see it all the time. We've all watched them texting away at restaurants, ball games, on their school yards, during family gatherings. They would rather blindly stare inside their phones than actually speak, and it's showing what the next generation is quickly becoming. I often wonder how well they'll do in future job interviews, or romantic relationships at this rate.

I don't have children, but have many friends who do. There are teenagers in my family and I've really noticed how times have changed. Used to, I could go to a friend's home who has children and they'd say hello, actually smile and greet you at the door. I could send a birthday gift, or graduation card and the recipient would call and thank you. Better yet, send you a note in the mail. Kids would listen to their elders and hear what they had to say. But no more. Now, if you're not texting or e-mailing, you're out of the groove. You're forgotten. Aren't cool. Not a part of their way of life. I can't remember the last time I actually heard a young person speak in complete sentences.

Adults are just as guilty.

I was having dinner recently at a rather large restaurant. There were about eight of us all together, relaxing, enjoying the food, the live music playing a few yards away, the pleasant decor. After the meals were consumed and plates cleared away, for some odd reason, cell phones started appearing all around me like six shooters springing from holsters. Not everyone pulled one out, but the majority did, leaving me and one other talking amongst ourselves. The sharing as a group had come to a screeching halt. The texts were flying, the web browsers moving like lightning. They were completely consumed with what they were doing, shutting out the human beings sitting beside them. And then, I scanned the room. Each and every table had at least half their occupants doing the same. Like me, there were dumbfounded expressions all over the place. Husbands glared at their wives. Dates quickly lost interest in each other. Waiters became more annoyed by the second trying to place orders from customers. Children fought while their parents rambled, sometimes shouting into their phones speakers. And it was a Saturday night, the weekend, a time which is all about personal connections. We sat and asked each other: Have people and the company they keep really become that boring? Why are we losing the simple art of personal expression?

For myself, personal relationships with other people is what life's all about. It's the basic reason we exist. It's in our blood. My novel, "Sons In The Clouds" is all about an unconditional friendship; what it means sharing a unique bond with another person in a period when texting and e-mails were only a pipe dream; when letting someone else in was truly beneficial. And the reliance on another was a simple joy, not an unwanted task.

I never want to fall prey to technology. I never want to feel controlled or enslaved by it. It exists merely to help me, and use as I see fit. It's wonderful to have, but the "off" button can be pressed as quickly as the one that says "on."

Randy Mitchell is a writer of inspirational fiction and author of the novel, Sons In The Clouds. Visit his website @ http://www.theinspirationalwriter.com