The past few weeks I have been obsessed with spring cleaning. As I scrubbed, I tried to remember all other times I have been overcome by such madness -- once, I was trying to keep myself busy to avoid hearing the evil voice of nicotine withdrawal, and the other three times I was nesting in preparation of my children’s births.
Well, this time around I am not quitting smoking, nor am I awaiting a sweet bundle of joy…so, inquiring minds want to know, why the urge to clean, scrub and remove old and unused items? I pondered this question for a while. The other times I was facing intense life or lifestyle changes, but why would I go through such intense labor without a good motive right now? Then, the reason for this sudden need of renewal finally dawned on me, and awareness of something much more profound timidly surfaced.
This time, as spring is ready to explode in its myriad of colors, warmer temperatures and sweet-scented flowers, I am awaiting the birth of a different type of child, twins, in fact: This spring and summer, my first two books are going to be released, and while it might not seem like a big deal to many, for me it is the crowning of a lifelong dream. On first impression, it appears that I am nesting once again; however, when I gave this matter a little thought, I wondered if something deeper is at play.
Some time ago, I purchased a new set of dishes to substitute my old ones, but didn’t immediately use them because I hesitated to take the old dishes out of the cupboard. True, the old dishes were not all matching, and some had quite a few imperfections etched on them by the hands of time and usage, but it was on those dishes that I served my daughter the first bite of greens she made faces at, and in those bowls that I piled cookies for my sons to have with milk. I felt as if I was throwing out the memories along with the faded plates, yet I couldn’t fit both sets in the space I have.
I finally placed the old dishes in a bag and arranged the new ones in the cupboard. Once I placed the discarded set in the car to be donated, I looked forward to dinner time when I could set the table with something new. Getting rid of the old dishes was a bit of a struggle, but now that it was done I felt good about it. Truth was that something had to be removed to make place for something new, and until I was willing to let go of things that were no longer satisfactory, I couldn’t fully enjoy what was newly available to me.
Although our conscious minds assume that everything we do in our physical world is only dictated by what we perceive through our five senses, I believe otherwise. In my opinion, many of our daily actions are induced by an inner need which uses the physical realm to express itself. The past couple of years have been bittersweet ones – I have conquered some important milestones, but I have also dealt with a lot of frustration in the process of getting to publication, and I think I have felt the need to cleanse my energy to make room for this eagerly awaited chapter in my life.
On a subconscious level, I think the same thing happens when one is awaiting the birth of a human child – aside from wanting to create a comfortable space for her soon-to-be-born baby, a mother-to-be might also be going through a spell of energy cleansing to prepare for the flow of love she will bestow on her child. Only so much energy can fit into one person, and it only makes sense that we naturally attempt to clear out the old to make room for the new. After all, many spiritual masters teach that energy flows better in a clean space.
After a few days of scrubbing and organizing, renewal has begun, and I am ready to open up to the new blessings waiting at the door.