Five Stars

That was indeed a Five Star hotel

with a Five Star restaurant

But mind you, the chefs never wash

the crabs before they chop them to pieces.

They simply took the crabs from the baskets

which came directly from the country farms

cut the fastening string

chopped the poor creatures to pieces

and threw them into the sizzling wok

These chefs prepared the most delicious delicacies

Why the guests aren’t getting sick

after eating these unhygienic foods ?

None of them complained of abdominal pains,

diarrhea or giddiness?

I went into a Jacuzzi and enjoyed a bath,

came out, took a cold shower.

And happened to see a maintenance crew trying to

fix a leaky pipe.

With my common sense and engineering experience

this hotel owner would need

a water tanker

to have the water from the Jacuzzi replaced.

He would need a pump

to remove all the water in the Jacuzzi

A water tanker would have to take it somewhere

to drain it into the sea, untreated!

Wouldn’t it be expensive to have all these services?

I asked the guys how they would replace the water

None of them knew the method

All of them had been with the hotel

for more than two years.

I requested for a massage

at a cost of $50 for 45 minutes

The masseur turned up

She was less attractive than the average

women I met on the street.

After ten minutes of massage

she asked whether I wanted sex

which she said would cost another $100.00

I told her my girl friend gave me sex

free of charge

Therefore, she wanted to know why

I came to the massage parlour,

and why I didn’t marry the girl friend ?

Well, she didn’t want long-term relationship

at the moment.

She said since there was not going to be any sexual intercourse

the session for massage was over

I complained to the authority concerned

The gentleman said there wasn’t any proof

that she didn’t complete the 45-minute job

I told myself that was enough

I had another bad day

Why should I risk having blue eyes?

There were many snots waiting outside

They earned money that way

Should I step on their toes?

Why should I crank out my neck

just to claim back some of the $50.00 ?

Mr. Ah Chong, Ah Low & Ah Kumar

the next time you go there

please bring along an alarm clock

It will definitely be cheaper

Or maybe your bills have already been paid?

I tell this great story

hoping our society will improve

Otherwise, sars will always be there

In Mandarin, Sars means kill

Do you want to be killed?

By protecting others

you protect yourself.

(End)

Copyright © 2004 by Poh Tiong Ho