Giving Up

Giving Up
August 6th, 2008
I get a lot of mail from people who are ready to give up. They feel they have waited long enough. Their marriage is not what it should be. Sometimes it is not bad even, but it is not what they thought it would be. Like a fruit tree that has no fruit, they feel their marriage is not worth working on any more.

I have fruit trees behind my house. We planted those tree 16 years ago. Now 16 years is a long time. Through the years we have not gotten but a tiny handful of fruit. For the first few years we tended those trees well, but still they did not grow fruit. After awhile we stopped tending them. We let the weeds grow and did not feed the trees anymore. They were still there, but we basically ignored them. Time slid by. No fruit, but who cares?

Then a couple of years ago several of the boys got interested in the trees. They cut down all the weeds, they feed the trees. We got lots of blossoms but frost hit them over the next several years and we still got no fruit.

I wish you were here. I would take you to my kitchen window and have you look at my trees. They are so full of fruit the limbs are shagging from the weight of it all. Beautiful peaches and apples hang on those trees. The fruit is bursting on them. It took 16 years, but we have a wonderful harvest.

I see marriages that way. Some do not bear much fruit the first few years. Problems come and weeds grow. Those weeds are not tended to. Even if some effort is made, it is not enough, frost hits- those unexpected problems. Many people cut down the tree in frustration. They are sick of waiting. They miss the harvest.

I am not saying there is never a dead tree. I suppose there are. I am saying that I think most of the trees not bearing fruit are really just untended. It takes a tree several years of growth to bear fruit. While waiting the farmer needs to still be tending to the tree. Sometimes things like frost do happen. The faithful farmer waits and looks forward to the next season- tending as he waits. He knows in time, With love and patience he will get a harvest. He believes.

If your are ready to call it quits, stop for a moment. Perhaps you need to clear out some weeds. Maybe you need to feed your marriage. A harvest may be right around the corner. A harvest you will be amazed at. Hugs, Barbara