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What losses have you had and how has it shaped your life?

As a writer about grief issues, I have found that nearly everybody has had a significant loss in their life. While I talk primarily about the death of a loved one, there are other losses that cause great pain such as divorce, job loss or loosing a pet. What have been your significant losses? How did you find healing? Who helped the most? How has it shaped your life? What advice would you give to newly suffering people? What advice would you give to their friends who want to help out?

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Permalink Reply by Ed Roberts on June 29, 2009 at 12:22pm

Most of my life is an open book captured in poetry for the world to see.
You can understand better if you visit my web site www.thepoetryforlifeproject.com
There is a link there where you can read several of my poems.
The answer to these questions is basically why I started this particular project to begin with.

Sometimes we all need special words to deal with this thing we call life.
As a poet I try and find the words others can not.

Help may simply come from the understanding that no matter what challenge we face, we do not have to do so alone.

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Permalink Reply by Clayton Clifford Bye on June 30, 2009 at 5:20am

I have a somewhat different outlook on death, so it tends not to affect me (I always deal with it by rejoicing in the life of the one lost). My answer to other people losses? Love more.

I did not deal so well with the loss of my health. Having always been physically active, the onset of severe Rheumatoid Arthritis was difficult. I kept trying to maintain my lifestyle. This resulted in great pain and months of virtually no sleep. Result? Depression. In fact, the effort triggered uncontrolled Bipolar Syndrome; I developed severe emotional and memory problems. Medical professionals, concerned family members and the diseases themselves forced me to retire and to quit writing.

Today, I can't sit, stand or walk for more than 5 minutes at a time. My concentration is poor, I still have memory problems, and I'm in constant pain. I spend most of my days stretched out on a couch, with my laptop.

How did I find healing? I put together an awesome medical team, including a psychiatrist, and I worked for years to reclaim what I could of my health. It wasn't until I got back enough of my concentration and memory to begin writing (in 15 minute increments) that I became "safe" again.

I credit my partial recovery to incredible family support and my passion for writing. Without these two things I would be permanently hospitalized or dead.

Advice to the new sufferer? Never, ever give up on your dreams. Be passionate. Persevere as best you can. Remain open about your problems; don't hide what's wrong, talk. Accept your new reality, that your life is going to be different, that giving 100% now will not bring the same results as giving 100% did before your problem arrived.

Advice to friends? Most times there is nothing you can do to change what's wrong. Yet lending a quiet, helping hand where and when it's needed can make a huge difference. Even more important? Don't be afraid to talk about what's happened. Whether they admit it or not, people who are suffering need to talk. Encourage this, and be ready to listen.

Thanks for posting the discussion, Kimberly.

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Permalink Reply by Skeeze Whitlow on August 17, 2009 at 4:29am

08/17/09
Skeeze Whitlow
4317 N. 16th Street
Arl. VA 22207
240 – 271 - 7569 www.NewFiction.com

Dear Kimberly,
As a former U.S. Capitol attendant, I offer you Senate Parking. A 90 K word novel about a multicultural crew of parking lot attendants who operate an escort service from the Senate lots. A good look at the underbelly of our law making process. Senate Parking can be listened to at www.NewFiction.com
“Hill Intros” is the brainstorm of attendants unable to obtain employment within the confines of the Capitol. Senate Parking is the story of power structures, on a personal and national level. Done from the perspective of workers who see themselves without much chance of ‘making it’ in a culture of power drivers, Washington’s backdrop provides a tension all its own.
This book concerns every kind of shady deal for which the political arena is famous. Senate Parking is full of anecdotes which let freedom ring. I can provide you with a synopsis or with the complete manuscript – whatever you like. Either way, I’ll be in touch.
Sincerely,

Skeeze Whitlow

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Permalink Reply by Skeeze Whitlow on August 18, 2009 at 11:35am

The21writer@alumni.marymount.edu

My second novel is now audio – like old time radio. All you have to do is listen. It’ll make you laff. Go to www.NewFiction,com

Choose ‘Senate Parking’

Skeeze Whitlow