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Simone Clare Bailey's Blog – March 2011 Archive (6)

Dad's hindering the royalty!

If it wasn't for my dad, I wouldn't be here.  Think about it.  Some forty-six years ago I lept from one of his testicles and swam like crazy to fertilise my mother's egg, and from simple biology classes you know the rest.  He worked hard to see that myself, along with my three siblings and mother were clothed, sheltered, and fed.  He's a quiet, taciturn type from whom I've inherited my relatively tall stature, and love of reading and cryptic crosswords.  But I do wish to the universal powers…

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Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 29, 2011 at 10:39pm — No Comments

Explaining Australian Colloquialisms for the Sex Act....

Well, the local library has been re-opened following extensive renovation.  I had a quick call in the other day, and took them a gift of a potted gerbera plant, and a card because they have been intregral with the launches of my novels.  I checked out the Young Adult shelf and found my novel 'Abernethy' there, and smiled a twee smile.  This novel is about a 14 year old boy who meets a beagle who, by virtue of having worked as a witch's familiar, can communicate with him.  The beagle becomes…

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Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 20, 2011 at 3:57am — No Comments

Next time, Dad, don't lend my book; tell the people to BUY a copy!

Gotta wonder at times. Tonight my father said to me that a woman, I'll call her 'Sally' (after all, it is her name) told him to congratulate me on 'Abernethy' (Zeus Publications, http://www.zeus-publications). She read it and enjoyed it. I was preening, and thinking about my bills as I said, 'Did she buy a copy? That's great!'. The man who sired me and passed on my tallness, the way-I-tilt-my-head gesture, and the ability to solve cryptic crosswords… Continue

Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 16, 2011 at 4:23am — No Comments

I wonder, and Ah Have Sinned!

There are things I occasionally wonder. Like: why do they always warn you to wear clean underpants when you leave the house, in case you get 'hit by a bus'. Hello! If I get hit by a bus, I really don't think my underpants are going to be all that pristine, if you get my drift.



I also wonder why some fire and brimstone preachers blame natural disasters on the country's populace having displeased God. Gee, whilst no geophysicist, I would have thought tectonic plates have more to do… Continue

Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 13, 2011 at 12:18am — No Comments

Let's hear it for hot rangas.

In Australia we occasionally have pests.  Yes, I know we have flies by the dozen on a hot day.  I'm talking more your household pest.  It's the dreaded telemarketer.  Do you have these in the States?  These rancid types telephone you uninvited to sell you something you neither want nor need (hey, if I wanted a new mobile telephone plan, I would SEEK ONE OUT MYSELF, okay?).  These people are merely Satan's effluvium.  Do you know why?  Because one rang whilst I was trying to write yesterday! …

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Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 6, 2011 at 5:05am — No Comments

Politically Incorrect Pepe

I'm going to refer to my previous blog post in which I provide some evidence to back up my theory that people are getting sillier by the day.  If you didn't read it, it's about a Queensland pre-school that wants to change the lyrics to 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' to 'Rainbow Sheep'.  Baa Humbug.  It got me thinking about a song that's just been released in Australia called 'Just the way you are (Drunk at the Bar)' by an Irish singer called Brian McFadden.  He was in some boy band, and I don't know…

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Added by Simone Clare Bailey on March 2, 2011 at 3:21am — No Comments

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